Only Relationship I want
by Seeha
Summary: Izaya reflects on his and Shizuo's relationship, then Shizuo visits on a rainy night, after that night Izaya starts feeling different and confused about his and Shizuo's relationship. (Shizaya, Not a one-shot)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or the characters.**

_~Our relationship is nothing more than physical. There's no "I love you's" or "I want to make love". We don't talk with words, but with our bodies. Most might consider our relationship just a casual fuck or boring. But to me, it's none of those things; to me it's the only relationship I want. ~_

I sat in my office chair looking at the computer, slightly hoping no was online. The pattering of rain distracted me from the screen. Clicking out of the internet, I got up walking over to the light switch, and turned it off. The dim blue light from the computer's monitor was the only light in the room. Content, I walked over to the window down into the streets below. Usually, I'd be interested in the people without umbrellas scrambling, trying to get out of the rain, but today I was interested in something else. I heard the door to my office swing open with a small squeak and then softly click shut. Grinning, slightly I turned around facing the figure, the blue light dimmed more but I still knew who it was.

I grabbed his bartender vest gently into my fingers. Looking up, I met the gaze of the monster of Ikebukuro. We stood there silently no threats flying out of his mouth or his fists trying to hit me, just silence. Leaning up, I kissed him full on the mouth, his hands that were in his pockets slip out and wrap themselves around my waist pulling me closer, his lips responding against mine. Snaking my hands up his chest I wrapped them around his neck, curling locks of wet hair between my fingers, our kiss deepened his tongue licking my bottom lip slowly, asking for an entrance which I granted him. His tongue slide against mine exploring every inch of my mouth. I moaned quietly, letting him guide me till my ass hit the desk. Taking off his sunglasses I tossed them aside, and then cupped his face looking into his dark golden eyes, he gazed, back his hands sliding up my shirt. Shivering as his hands grazed over my belly and up, I lifted my arms so he could slip the shirt off of me. Still without saying a word we undressed each other, fingers exploring newly exposed flesh. Knowing we couldn't fuck on the desk, Shizu-chan cupped my ass gently lifting me up; I immediately wrapped my legs around his waist and gripped his shoulders as he carried me till my back was pressed against a nearby wall.

"Shizu-chan..." I whispered, quietly into his ear as he entered me. He didn't say anything just continued to bury himself to the hilt. When he was fully sheathed inside me he started leaning down.

"Izaya." my name rolled ever so perfectly off his tongue. Our lips met in a small kiss our emotions all filled in that one simple kiss. I mostly felt his annoyance and rage for me but deep beneath all of his anger I tasted love. I gripped him tighter, pleasure burning hotly throughout my body, as Shizuo rolled his hips, his thick cock hitting my prostate.

"Mmm, Shizuo~!" I moaned, loudly, I only said his real name whenever I was gonna cum and he knew it, he kissed me again, slipping his tongue in my mouth when I moaned again. His thrusts sped up, and I knew he was close as well, his kiss became more aggressive and rough, and so did his thrusts.

"Shizuo-Chan ahh~!" I almost screamed his name, as he nailed my prostate with a well-aimed thrust. I saw white as I came, my cum landing on my chest and stomach. After just a few more moments I felt Shizuo's hot cum fill my insides, I moaned, softly at the sensation. I unwrapped my legs from his waist forcing my tired legs to support myself; we stood there not saying anything. I bended down grabbing my shirt, _this is the part where he leaves..._ a pang went through my heart but I ignored it. When I looked over at him I saw that he only was in his pants and shirt his vest in his hand.

"Aren't you going to leave?" I asked, curious, he rubbed the back of his head, "I was wondering if I could stay..."

I stared at him with shock, "Stay? Why would you want to stay?"

"Well it is raining, and I don't feel like walking in the rain, or taking a taxi home," I opened my mouth to say something, but he stopped me "If you want me to leave then just say so," he growled slightly,

I stared at him for a moment before walking over to him, a smirk playing on my lips. "If you wanted another round you could have just asked Shizu-chan." I teased; he growled grabbing me around the waist pulling me closer.

"Do you want me to fuck your little ass till you can't walk?" he threatened.

"And if I do," I purred, rolling my hips against his, he let out a hiss of pleasure, grabbing me by my hair, yanking my head back my neck fully exposed.

"Then you're gonna get it," He bite into my neck, lapping at the wound with is tongue. I tangled my fingers into his thick blonde locks, closing my eyes. This is the only relationship I want.


	2. Chapter 2

**Izaya's point of view**

Warm breath tickled the back of my neck, with a small grunt I tried scooting away but a arm around my waist stopped me, only pulling me closer. My eyes shot up, Whose in bed with me? I slowly looked over my shoulder, Shizu-chan? I rubbed my eyes with one hand, then blinked a few times.

"Shizu-chan..." I sat up, lifting Shizu's arm and putting it beside him, he stirred for a moment then rolled over his back to me. I leaned over him, his face looked so cute when he was asleep, reaching out I went to stroke his hair, but I stopped myself.

_No..._this doesn't feel right standing up I grabbed my clothes and got dressed _This isn't normal..._

_I thought it was the only relationship you want..._ my inner voice said

_Shut up_ I snapped,_ I know what I said...It just seems different now..._

_...All because he stayed the night over?_ it asked

I shook my head _You don't understand..._ the voice was silent. Thank god, I turned to leave but a tug on my jacket stopped me.

"Hey...Where ya goin flea.." Shizu's voice was groggy with sleep, as he spoke.

_flea..._ usually I'd be happy that he call me that...But right now I felt sad..."Well that's not very nice Shizu-chan~," I forced myself to smile "Considering I let you stay that night~,"

He snorted "Yeah I know," reaching down he grabbed his pants, pulling out his cigarettes from the back pocket.

"No smoking allowed, Shizu-chan~" I teased, he just glared at me ignoring what I said.

"You leaving?" he asked, looking me in the eyes, I stared back then I looked away. Usually I'd be able to hold his gaze...Why can't I now? I rubbed my temples with a small sigh. "Everything alright, flea?" I felt a slight tug on my jacket again.

_No...something's wrong.._ "Aww~, is Shizu-chan worried about me~?" I settled myself into his lap. Grinning at the flash of anger in his eyes.

"Shut up," he growled, putting his cigarette to his mouth then blowing the smoke in my face.

I coughed waving my hand in front of my face "That wasn't very nice Shizu-chan," I whined, giving him a pouty look. He glared at me "Get off me," he snapped slightly.

I felt the sadness rising up inside my chest, but I forced it away getting off his lap "You're so cruel, Shizu-chan," I grabbed my knife, ready to leave but I felt arms wrap around my waist, pulling me back "...You seem off today.." I felt The ex-bartender's warm breath on my neck, causing me to shiver slightly.

"I'm fine maybe I'm catching a cold or something,"_ he's holding me..._ I leaned back, _This isn't normal..._ I turned my head, looking at him over my shoulder.

"Izaya?" _why do I love it when he says my name? Why does it sound so right when he says it?_ I turned, fully so I was facing him. _Why do I want more of him?..._Leaning up I kissed him; his lips respond immediately moving perfectly against my own, I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling his body against mine._ Why?...Why do does fit me so perfectly..._ his tongue licked my bottom lip, causing me to shiver and allow him access to my mouth.

_Wasn't I alright with us hating each other, do I not want that anymore?_ my hands glided over his body, feeling his toned, hard muscle. _Wasn't us just being fuck buddies enough for me?_ he pulled away, lust clouded in his eyes as he slid off my jacket, dropping it to the floor.

"Izaya..." he lifted my shirt off my body, then dropped it on top of my jacket.

_My name...Why?.._ I took his hand leading him to the bed then pushing him gently onto his back. _Please...say my name again..._ I begged silently, as I unzipped my jeans then sliding them along with my boxers down till they pooled at my ankles_ Please just say my name!_ I climbed on top of him grabbing both of our erections, and rubbing them together.

"Fuck, Izaya," Shizu moaned, quietly reaching up with one hand rolling a nipple between his fingertips, then doing the same to the other nub.

Planting a kiss on his lips, I slid my hand under my pillow, pulling out a bottle of lube, unscrewing the cab I poured it over my fingers. It was cold as I rubbed my wet fingers together then I slid my fingers down my hip, then to my entrance.

_Shizuo..._ I rubbed my middle finger around the ring of muscle, wetting it with the lube, then I slid it inside me. "Why do you do this to me?..." I murmured softly.

"What was that, Izaya?" I jumped alittle Did I say it out loud? I added a second finger bending down nibbling his neck.

"It's nothing Shizu-chan," he didn't look convinced but didn't say anything. Removing my fingers I grabbed Shizu's hard dick and placed the tip at my entrance, then very slowly I lowered myself.

"Izaya..." there was my name again...Why? I didn't move for a second, but then very slowly I moved myself up and down in his thick rod.

"Shizuo..." I whispered softly, as I quickened my pace, I could feel my climax approaching, leaning down I kissed Shizuo. _Why are you making me feel this way?...Everything was just fine until this morning..._

_Was it really?_ I mentally groaned, goddamn it my inner voice was back, _maybe you're feeling this way because you love him,_

Love him? I almost laughed _I don't love anyone certainly not him..._ to be honest I think my inner voice was...right. I was too deep in though to notice I've cummed until I felt, Shizu-chan's warm seed fill me. The room was silent except for our heavy pants.

"Izaya..." Shizu leaned up and kissed my neck gently, I smiled, cradling his head gently as he rested his forehead against my shoulder. His breathing slowed and I knew he had fallen asleep, I laid him down gently, pulling up the blanket over his naked body, and up to his chin

_Shizuo.._ grabbing my clothes I redressed, then I left, right when I stepped outside I felt a wetness on my nose then more, lifting up my hood over my head, I walked down the block, the raining pouring down onto me soaking my jacket, but I didn't care, I glanced back at my apartment._ Even if I do love Shizu-chan...there's no way in hell he'll ever feel the same..._


	3. Chapter 3

**Shizuo's point of view**

I yawned, shifting under the covers, as I lifted my cigarette to my mouth and blew another puff of smoke in the air.

_"Why do you do this to me.."_

_What did that flea mean?_ I growled grinding my cigarette into the ash tray, almost cracking the glass.

I wanted to press the topic further but I was too horny to really care at the moment, but now it was driving me crazy. I stood up stretching, the bones in my back cracking loudly, picking up my pants I digged through the pockets pulling out my phone then flipping it open. I clicked the contacts button then hit C, immediately Celty's name popped up.

**Celty we need to talk, meet me at the park** I clicked the send button and waited, there a was a small beep a few moments later.

**Already here.**

I shook my head setting my phone down on the bed slipping on my boxers, I stopped for a moment then looked down at my phone. I don't why but I picked it up and scrolled down right to Izaya, the damned flea thought it be funny to steal my phone one night and put his number in it.

* * *

_"We're almost there, Shizuo," Tom said glancing back at me, sometimes this guy really knew when I was getting impatient or pissed. I didn't say anything and just blew a puff of smoke in the air._

_"Mom can we go to the festival, please?" I heard a little girl beg her mom, I glanced at them the little girl was tugging on her mom's wrist looking up at her with big blue eyes. The mother sighed in defeat looking at her watch._

_"Fine but not for too long, it's almost 10," the little girl smiled, grabbing her mom's hand and pulling her toward the the noise and lights._

_"You plan on going?" I heard Tom ask, I shook my head._

_"Festivals aren't my kind of thing," I said, my mind turning to Izaya for a moment._

_"Who knows Shizu-chan it might be fun~," I whipped around toward the voice, that little flea's filthy scent in the air. The informant stood not too far way, a smirk plastered onto his damn face._

_"Izaya, what are you doing here?" I growled clenching my fists._

_He gave me a pouty look, his bottom lip sticking out slightly "I just wanted to go to festival," mischief flashed in his eyes "You act like I'm going to do something bad Shizu-chan," he purred my name taking out my brand new phone from his pocket._

_"M-my phone!" I stuttered in slight surprise but recovered quickly "Give me it back to damn flea!" I roared, charging at him._

_He sidestepped to the side, "If you want it, come and get it~" He cooed, turning tail and running into the festival. I snapped my cigarette then threw it onto the ground, that flea's in for a world of hurt I thought furiously grabbing a stop sign and pursing the informant._

_Izaya weaved smoothly through the crowd without any problem while I on the hand had to practically force people out of my way, just so I could keep up with the brunette. Suddenly something bright was thrown onto my head blinding me as I struggled to get the fabric off. Once I pulled it off I through it to the ground looking frantically for the informant._

_"Over here~" his voice rang out, he stood by the Ferris wheel at the very end of the line, waving his hand in the air, a smirk on that damn...sexy...face..._

_I growled, angrily, shaking my head Focus Shizuo! As I ran toward him he snaking his way past the people, who gave him annoyed glares some snapping at him but he ignored them his eyes meeting my own as he continued making his way to the front of the line, then into an empty passenger car. I followed shortly the door shutting behind me._

_"No were to run now, Izaya-kun," I cracked my knuckles grinning._

_He narrowed his eyes a smirk playing on his lips "Who said I wanted to run Shizu-chan~" He purred the cart jerking as we made our way to the top of the Ferris wheel._

_I glared "You planned this didn't you?" the informant stood up, leaning his weight on one leg._

_"Maybe," he sat down next to me looking out the window "Now just shut up and enjoy the view, Shizu-chan~" his hand brushed up against mine slightly but made no other move. I just stared, I wanted to hold his hand...just to feel his hand with mine...I shook my head looking out at the sun, I had to admit it was pretty..._

* * *

That same night I had found Izaya's number in my phone a heart right next to it. I never bothered deleting his number I knew he'd found another way to put it back in. Shutting it I stood up putting on the rest of my clothes, then left the apartment and made my way to the park. When I got there I saw Celty sitting in the shade of a giant oak, reading a small book. She looked up closing the book and setting it on her motorcycle, then took out her phone

**What did you want to talk about?**

"It's about Izaya..." I leaned against the tree beside her, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

**Did he do something wrong?**

"I guess you could say that..." she stared at me waiting for me to continue, "I..I think I'm in love with Izaya..." I felt my cheeks get hot as I said it.

**Then what's the problem? Just tell him.**

I scoffed "This is Izaya we're talking about, I just can't ok,"

**...Who knows maybe he feels the same way...**

I stared at her "Do you know something I don't?"

she didn't say anything and just put her book into a small bag on her bike and hopped onto the seat, revving the engine. **I got to go**

"Wait, Celty-" her bike drowned out my voice as it sped away, a neigh hidden in the roar of the engine.

_What is she hiding? _I coughed, waving dust from my face, with a sigh I walked away _Does she know something I don't? _A flash of fur caught my attention, Izaya? I looked over, my jaw practically hitting the concrete below me. Izaya was holding hands with a pretty good looking guy with black hair slicked back, a few strands hanging in his blue mouths moved but I couldn't hear what they were saying, but something the guy said made Izaya smirk, the man grinned lust clearly visible in his eyes,as he led Izaya into a building.

Izaya was was no it couldn't be! I stumbled after them looking around but didn't see them "Hey sir did you see a guy in a fur jacket with a guy in a business?" I asked the man behind the counter my heart pounding.

"Um yeah room A36," I gave him a winded thanks as I hurried down the hall. I stopped at the door a small noise behind the door, I pressed my ear to the light brown wood another moan filling my ears. That guy was touching Izaya,** MY** Izaya, my blood boiled angrily. Pulling back my fist I punched the door right down, putting a hole in it as well.

"Shizu-chan?" The guy was on top of Izaya both naked "What are you doing here?"

I ignored his question "Who is he?" I pointed to the man "And what the hell do you think you're doing with him?" I snarled, rage filling my veins.

"This is Mr. Sasaki, we're doing business..."

Sasaki looked at me then Izaya "I'll be outside," grabbing a robe he tied it around his waist then stepped outside onto the balcony, but I knew he would still be able to hear us.

Izaya stood up next walking up to me "...Why are you still here?" that took me by surprise, the anger dieing down.

"I just-"

he looked up at me his eyes watering just a bit "Did you really think I was just sleeping with you?" I nodded I honestly did think that, " Well you were wrong, I sleep with alot of people beside you Shizu-chan...You're not special, I just used you for my own personal pleasure," I swear I could hear my heart break, he was just using me? I clenched my fists, I should have known...We weren't together or anything why would I care if he sleeps with other people I shouldn't care one bit...But I did, I wanted Izaya for myself I wanted no one else but me to be able to touch him...I wanted him to be mine...

"Y-you were never special, Shizu-chan..." the flea's eyes water even more, tears threatening to spill "If even thought just for a second I cared about you or even loved you...You were wrong.." his voice wavered "Now leave, I'm done talking to you.." he turned away, walking out to the balcony.

_No Izaya!_ One side of me wanted to grab him and tell him how much I cared about him, how much I loved him, the other side just wanted to walk away and forget his words...The words that crushed my heart...numbly I set the door back into place and walked away. I was defeated...the Monster of Ikebukuro was defeated...

**Izaya's point of veiw**

I laid there watching with blurry eyes as Mr. Sasaki dressed himself then set down a envelope on the bed by my feet. He was pretty decent but he could never compare to Shizu-chan...

"Pleasure doing business with ya," Sasaki smirked closing the door behind him. The tears that I've been holding in the whole time poured down my face as I sobbed into the sheets. I felt so dirty, why am I such a whore!?...

_You ruined your chance..._

_I know that!..._ I sobbed harder, gasping for air _I ruined everything! Shizu-chan will never speak to me again...I've lost him..._ I lifted my fur jacket up pulling one of Shizuo's bartender vests from one of the pockets. I could still smell his scent...I clenched the fabric between my fingers tightly my knuckles turning white.

"I love you, Shizuo Heiwajima..."


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm sorry it's been so long, school's started again and I've been so busy with homework and being in a new school T.T But anyway enjoy :)**

**Izaya's point of view**

I never knew losing someone could hurt this much. Every time I see Shizuo my heart breaks a little more, even he doesn't chase after me any more...but sometimes when we meet eye contact I can see the hurt in his eyes, I want to run into his arms and tell him how sorry I am, but I know I can't take back what I said and that it's too late. I tapped my pencil against my lip as my eyes started watering, a tear slipping out before I could stop it.

_Don't cry, Namie will see..._ I wiped my eyes with my fingers as though something was in my eye, but the way Namie was looking at me I could tell she had seen the tear.

"If you're so sad about it why don't you just go apologize," she said, it like it could really be that easy, but it wasn't...She doesn't understand.

"Did I ask for your opinion, no I don't think so," I snapped, usually I would have made some little joke about how she cared about me, but I was in no joking mood.

"Tsk," I knew she wanted to say more but didn't, good I wasn't in the mood to hear her annoying voice. I swivelled my chair so I faced the window, then stood up looking out the glass. There was so many people, some had looks of boredom, some with irritation as they had to wait to cross the street.

_Must be somewhere special,_I thought bitterly, tonight Shizuo would be coming...but I know he's not coming, as I continued looking I noticed him standing among the crowd across the street waiting to cross. My heart lifted._ Maybe he is coming... _he had his shades on and a cigarette in his mouth, it was the usual look but it still excited me. The crossing sign changed immediately everyone poured onto the streets some running across, others taking their time, Shizuo was one of those people, his head lifted I knew he was looking at me. As he reached the other side I waited for him to into the building and right up to my apartment doors. But he never did, instead he took a right his attention focused on a girl who ran up to him, smiling and hugging him. I clenched my fists.

_Who is she? J_ealously burned, as shizuo hugged back putting his arm around her shoulders. The girl was pretty no doubt she had flowing blonde hair, that framed her heart shaped face perfectly and big hazel eyes that were filled with excitement.

_He's already moved on, _my inner voice said.

_Shut up..._ it couldn't be right, it wasn't! But as the girl reached up on her tippy toes and pecked his cheek I knew it was true. Pressed my hand against the window, I want to be in her footsteps, where I have to reach up on my toes to kiss Shizuo, and then he laugh and smile like he is to her. I turned away sitting back in my chair, and noticed Namie had stopped what she was doing and was staring at me.

"What are you looking at?" I snapped.

She looked away, putting a stack of papers away in the file cabinet "Nothing,"

_ Bitch _my phone suddenly buzzed, the screen lighting up, I picked it up looking at the name.

Mr. Sasaki.

It was tempting to just ignore the message but I looked at it anyway.

**Meet me at the Sakura hotel, room A36**

Is he really trying to torture me?... I sighed, grabbing my jacket, "I"m going out Namie," she didn't say anything and continued to clean, but I knew she heard me. I stepped outside, walking with the flow of the crowd, I heard a giggle and a similar chuckle and looked. Shizuo and that chick were at sitting at a small Cafe, I couldn't help but watch as he smiled so causally and wasn't looking angry for once. His eyes met mine and immediately the smile was gone, his eyes hardening. I could see the anger building in his eyes but he didn't make any more to throw anything at me and then start chasing me.

The girl looked at Shizuo her eyes concerned and confused, then she looked at me then back at him. Her lips moved and then his; his eyes leaving mine. I stared for a few moments longer hoping that his eyes would come back to me...They never did.

_I guess he really did move on._.I walked up to the Sakura hotel, opening the doors and walking up a young guy, behind the desk.

"Welcome how-,"

"Room A36," I cut him.

"A-are you sure that's-"

" Mr. Sasaki's, I have a meeting with him,"

"Oh ok the room's-," I didn't let him continue and just walked away, he had no idea how clearly I remembered that room. When I got to the door I knocked waiting, no one answered for a moment but then the door knob turned and opened. There he stood there smirking, his hair slicked back, some strands hanging in his face.

"How nice to see you, Izaya," he purred opening the door more, allowing me to step inside the apartment.

"The pleasure's all mine~" I purred, time to play nice, his chest pressed up against my back, as he kissed the side of my neck then scraped his teeth slightly.

"You get ready, I'll be right back," the body against me disappeared as he walked around me, then walked into the bathroom.

_Probably going to grab one of his toys..._ I thought, when I first slept with I never would have guessed he liked using toys. I bent down tossing my shoes to the side then my socks, I then made my way to the bed, still standing as I dropped my jacket onto the floor.** CLINK** I froze as I felt the cold metal of a gun pressed to the back of my head.

"Don't move, Izaya," he growled, his hand reaching into the front pocket of my pants taking out my spare knife. "You won't be needing this," I closed my eyes as I heard him cock the gun, pain exploded through out me as he hit me in the back of the head, I went down barely catching myself on my hands in time, but right as I landed, he struck again my vision fading in and out. Then every went black.


End file.
